Me n' My Homies

Don't lecture me, sonny, I've been clogging up the Intertubes with my words since before the was a web for popularatin' Lolcats and Chuck Norris mythos. Back then, the only tweeting that took place was over at alt.erotica.tweeting.it.off and then only after spending an hour downloading an ASCII graphic to twitter tweet to. It was the dark ages: an 80/86 connected through a phone cradle at 300 baud. If you know what I'm saying, talk to me, I can barely remember those days.

I suppose I could create all kinds of things about myself to keep this interesting. Like what I do as a regular contributor to HuffPo, submitting pieces like, "This Is What It's Like To Live With Terrible Foot Odor" and "I Talked To My State Representative While Blazing On Peyote And This Is What I Learned."

Award-winning Yelp reviewer, unrestrained-hedonism activist, professor of These Things and Those Items at the University of Tomorrow, and an eco-system for over two-hundred parasites. 

I'll just say that I like pie. Really, anything shoved into or onto dough and then baked, of which pie is the apotheosis, works for me.