Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Another effin effed-up post

This bit is NOT by George Carlin and the Internet doesn't know who the fuck it is.

A friend asked me why this new version of my blog has shown me with a muted potty mouth, noting that my much-reduced frequency (and frequent permutations) of the word “fuck” had led to an improved vocabulary. No, I demurred, it was due to “Improve Your Word Power” in the Reader’s Digest that I was suddenly able to pull fancy words out of my ass. That, and, “Internet Solutions” as my provider likes to say (the provider who won’t provide me with “the quick number” to tech support so I don’t have to punch through their bullshit reset process).

Besides, my grandchildren might stumble across this site one day, from a stilted building on Sea Earth. If they do read this, they’re probably saying. “Get a load of this fucking guy!”

Aside from probably finding this all very quaint (what with their gill implants, prosthetic flippers and neural Internet connections) - hell, even I think blogging has become a niche interest in the virtual universe – I doubt they’ll be phased by grandpa dropping the F-bomb, the little fuckers. In fact, I wonder if “fuck” will have much of an impact by the time they read this. If it won’t be so surprising when our POTUS tells the American people, “This is fucked up,” when South American cartels hike the price on their spicy Soylent Green. Our language evolves: it seems that “fuck” has none of the shock value it held when I was growing up and its ubiquity in current everyday conversation, movies, television (cable only, still) and everywhere else has pretty much burnished the pointy bits off the word.  

Still, for the last couple of years I tried to make my site as boring as possible, showing snoopy prospective employers that I could be relied upon to be safe, sane and not post anything for months at a time. Something no one would read and not anything I was interested in making time for. After a recruiter told me that she had been to my site, I blanched, concerned that there was nothing there to see other than a thin portfolio and my cursory comments on stuff that I linked. My initial saucer-eyed boast of, “Hey, I’ve got a web site!” became more of an, “uh, yeah…” as it occurred to me that my domain pointed to something completely void of personality, fun or worthwhile content.

I never said "fuck" in a single post, I kept my language wholesome and bland. My site was the "Her?" of blogs.

That’s not me. If an HR rep stumbles across this site (and I have no doubts that it will happen again), I encourage them to read these words, hopefully laugh, and get a sense of who I am. The employer who can appreciate that, this, what I do, that company is out there.

This, then, is for them:

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