Monday, December 21, 2015

15 Best Internet Lists of 2015

I bet you didn’t know there were so many lists on the Internet

This is the time of year when Internet lists get the recognition that has been neglected throughout the rest of the year. Without Internet lists, our connection to the World Wide Web would be like Russia in 2007. Do you remember what happened in Russia back in 2007? Of course you don’t and that’s the point. Internet lists have always been with us (even before the Internet) so, whatever went down in Russia back in 2007 won’t happen, forget it already.

We’ve spent several minutes and scant resources to scour the Internet for lists. Frankly, it wasn’t that difficult: just Google any number more than five followed by any adjective or noun and you’re going to hit gold. The Google has earned every penny you’ve put into it.

Our rules for including lists on this list were simple: If we didn’t like the list, we left it off and if we did like the list, well, that’s why you’re reading this. Oh, and no Buzzfeed lists, those are pointless. Having laid all that out, your 2015 has just been completed with this list and you can safely check off one more accomplishment (that we did for you!) before you die.

15. 15 Reasons to Date a Single Mom

In case you needed a reason to date a single mom, this list has 15 of them. Although we weren’t aware that all single moms had these 15 things in common, this list helped us to realize that single moms are actually better for dating than single non-moms. 

This slot had stiff competition from similar lists such as, 15 Reasons Why Single Moms Are Always Horny, 15 Ways I’m an Improvement Over Your Ex and 15 Tell-tale Signs That My Internet Lists Have Zero Effect on My Social Life

14. 14 Places You are Forbidden From Visiting

Actually, I bet there's more than 14 places since we know there's this enclosure about a mile from here with "Keep Out" and "Danger: High Voltage: signs all over it but when we went there, all we got was a ripped up t-shirt from climbing over the razor wire.

13. 13 Books That You Should Read ASAP

Why the authors of this list think you should read any of these books as soon as possible is never explained in the post, however. From what we could tell, none of the books contain time-sensitive material. Anyway, read them now, there’s 13 of them (we counted), you’re going to need to cancel some things.

12. 12 Unsettling Facts about 'The Metamorphosis'

A list about lists is a bit Kafkaesque, if you think about it.

11. 11 Mistakes Wedding Guests Make

The smart couple planning a wedding would do well to send this list out with their invitations with "FYI" penciled in on the printed copy. 

10. 10 Worst National Anthem Performances Ever

Nothing shows how American you are more than taking off your hat and pretending like you know the words.
9. 9 Things Managers Do That Make Good Employees Quit

This is an important list because in 2014, there were only eight things that managers did to make good employees quit. Since then, managers have added one more thing they do to set you off out the door. And they probably got a bonus for it.

8. 8 Top Products You Need to Try in 2016

Whoa. This is what happens when you're thinking ahead, planning for the future - you get your list on our list. If this list had been for 2017 and had fewer items on it, this might have placed near the top. Better luck next year.

7. 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

As it has been with every year, this one comes in at number seven. Highly effective? The following six lists are laughing at you, pal.

6. 6 Terrible Health Tips from Gwyneth Paltrow

Or, 6 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Be Consulting Gwyneth Paltrow for Medical Advice.

5. 5 Best Big Cities

They're the best, the list says so. 

4. The 4 Types of Introvert: Which Are You?

Distinguished for being the first list to start the headline with "The." Also, introverts want to know.

3. AMAs 2015: 9 Best & 3 Worst Moments

For daring to say 3 when there's actually 4.

2. Best 2-in-1s 2015

This was a tough call. Notice how the list's title really tries to slip this into the #1 slot with "2-in-1s" by implying some kind of relative identity. But there can only be one one...

1. This list, obviously.



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